Never Before
by HDStop
Summary: Kai has lost Dranzer and his reason to live. But while on a journey to find a new team member he will find a new passion, along with a suppressed memory and an old friend. He hopes to keep this warm feeling, but things may get too hot. Warning inside


A/N: Well here's the first story published by me. It's pretty short, but I kept getting stuck with it. Hope everyone enjoys it. I know it's sad now, but hey, things can only get better, right?

Warning: Angst, violence, mature language and hormonal situations (including shounen-ai). And let's not forget there are a few OC's. That's right, if you don't like OC's, then sorry, but the main character is my original character, who I don't really think is Mary-Sue, but I could be too close to the situation to think otherwise. So if you're open minded then please, by all means read on, if not then I apologize, but thank you for considering this story in the first place.

It was early. Even too early for the stoic captain of the newly reformed Blade Breakers who rose with the sun as a force of habit. He could feel a familiar weight on his chest but kept his eyes shut. He could tell by the lack of heat from his window that the sun was still asleep- too bad he wasn't in the same state. After a few minutes of trying to return to the peaceful land of Elysian, he realized once again that once he awoke, he would stay that way.

With a sigh, the dual haired Russian opened a single crimson eye. His vision was filled with blond hair. His top was bare and he felt a finger twitch at his side. The clock he glanced at read 3:17 a.m. A low groan escaped his throat as he thought of a way to remove the blonds grip on his torso. He probably just got into bed about an hour ago, and Kai knew better than to awake him right now.

Currently, the Russian was the only individual who knew about his American teammate's nightmares. Not even his own parents were in the know about this particular fault in Max's sleeping patterns. Ever since the incident on the island two and a half years ago, Max hadn't been himself.

_One night, after everyone had all gone to bed and Kai could not sleep, he ventured into the kitchen for a glass of water. Before he had a chance to make it to the end of the hall, his sensitive ears picked up the sound of someone crying. He was torn between getting that drink and taking a horse sized sleeping pill, or journeying into the unknown of someone else's bedroom and finding the source of the weeping. _

_A choked, terrified sound caught his attention and he could not bring himself to leave the hallway. Instead, his feet took him to the second door to his right. Before he entered, he knocked softly. A muffled scream and a loud thump answered him. Before he realized what he was doing, his hand found its way to the handle on the door and forcefully opening it. There on the floor of the tidy bedroom was Max, tangled in his sheets and comforter, whimpering with tears and an even paler face than usual, his expression distorted with pain. Kai had rushed to Max's side in an instant and began shaking him to consciousness._

"_Max," he called. "Max, what's wrong? Wake up, it's just a dream."_

_His ocean blue eyes snapped open and his arms, which were previously clutching to his bare pillow, now wrapped themselves around Kai's bare waist. His legs, tangled in the bed set, flailed until they were folded beneath his body._

"_Draciel!" he screamed. "No, Draciel! Don't leave me, please!" he continued to plead. His grasp tightened in fear of being abandoned by the one creature that continued to stay by his side despite his faults._

_He was never in this kind of situation before-calming people- he had never done it before. He never even thought about it. "Umm…" he stammered, arm at his side. Emotions had been beat out of him long ago, but his heart began to pound in his ears. It was a queer feeling. "M-Max?" he whispered. All he received was a heartbroken cry and more tears dampening his chest and abdomen. _

_With stiff muscles, Kai brought his arm around his blond teammates back. "Max," he started with a slightly wavering voice. "Max… calm down. It's okay. Now please, wake up," despite his inexperience with comforting or being comforted, his voice stayed strong._

_Before he knew it, Max had calmed down and was now sleeping peacefully. His grip had gone slack and the only thing supporting him was Kai's arm around his back and shoulder blades._

_For the next few nights, Kai and Max would go through the same routine. Max would cry, Kai would comfort, the blond wouldn't remember anything, and the Russian would say nothing. One night, Kai was too tired to go to his own room, and had somehow ended up sleeping with Max on his bed, and that was when the American finally learned what had been going on for the past six days. Since that day, their routine would continue. Either Kai would hear him and rush to his side, or Max would wake from the nightmare and Kai would find a guest sleeping beside him the next morning. _

Now Kai wondered why he had decided to help Max in the first place. It wasn't as if they were especially close. He was probably closer to Kenny than the blond sleeping almost fully on him. Perhaps he didn't want to hear it any longer. Or perhaps it was due to his past? He remembered screaming in the middle of the night when he first arrived in the hell hole he knew as "Balkov Abbey" and how badly he was beaten for it. Then wanting so badly to cry out from the pain- but the more he cried out, the more painful it was.

Suddenly the freckled teen's body shifted. He slid off of Kai's torso and curled up into his side. Quickly, before Max made another movement, the Russian teen took hold of one of his larger sized pillows, leapt off of the bed, and placed the pillow beside Max in his stead.

"Sorry Max," he quietly apologized at the door after pulling a random black T-shirt on over his bare chest and crimson boxers.

Making his way to the bathroom, Kai noticed that Max's door was open. ""Huh, what a blond," he commented while placing the prone to nightmare teen into _that_ stereotype. Part of their arrangement was secrecy, and here the blond was leaving his door wide open for anyone to look inside at 3:30 in the morning to find him missing. Not that any of the other inhabitants of the Kamiya Dojo were ever up before he was. When he reached the door, he discovered another individual besides the owner of the room sleeping with his back against the bed and head lolling back onto it.

'_What is Rei doing here?'_ Kai wondered. He'd known for a while now about the love triangle between his three team members. Rei had been in love with Max since the American tournament three years ago; Max had been crushing on Tyson since the moment they battled and Tyson… Well Tyson was blind to anything besides his own emotions.

Kai shook his head, wondering if the Chinese neko-jin was aware of Max's current sleeping arrangements. Doubtful, but not impossible. After all, Rei had always been quite an intuitive individual. He wouldn't have been surprised if somehow Rei knew about the secret Kai had under his belt, or rather under his checkbook.

He decided to let the second oldest member sleep there as soundly as possible and walked the rest of the way to the bathroom. Closing the door, the Russian yawned and stretched. His bones snapped back into place with large cracks. With a glance at the mirror, Kai noticed his eye color, unfortunately. The bright crimson that usually appeared during his fatigued moments were now fading into a maroon hue. He knew that by the time he was finished getting prepared for the day, the calm claret would become the contemplating stone gray as usual.

As he released the pressure clenching his abdomen into the toilet, Kai closed his eyes. In a few hours they'd be travelling to a foreign land. The team had been in America before, but never to the pacific islands. A new team tournament was to be held there, and the Blade Breakers, who were now a large part of the BBA (Beyblade Battle Association) turned WWBBA (World Wide BeyBlade Association) were to attend. The company was now spreading out into different countries and continents, and focused less on championships while it had been rebuilding after the BEGA takeover.

Currently, WWBBAs were being built in the countries where the top bladders originated: Russia, where the Blitzkrieg Boys hailed from, had signed on; China, Home of White Tiger X was also now officially part of the team; In Spain, F-Dynasty had not only signed on to the national league, but they had also gained a new team member. The Majestics in Europe had temporarily disbanded in order to help out the new up and comers in their own countries; The PBB All Starz were traveling throughout each country in order to update the WWBBA's official and unofficial teams-They were currently in Hawaii under Mr. Dickenson's orders to locate a new team member for the Bladebreakers. They had lost Daichi a few months ago. His mom had finally been able to reach him and asked him to return safely home. He obeyed, not wanting to worry her, and leaving their team short one member.

While using the chief, or just going into battle with only 4 members would have been fine, Mr. Dickenson had asked if they would consider adding a new member from somewhere Beyblade had not reached very well. Somehow it ended up being Hawaii, which they had all, excluding Kai, had happily agreed to. Kai had only agreed to go along with the idea for now, seeing as all of the Bladebreakers were from different countries, creating a team built on equality throughout the world. While Hawaii was still a part of America, the mainland had silently been on the outs with Hawaii, the Hawaiian society wanting to become an individual social order once again.

It had seemed like Max was the most eager of the bunch to go to the islands, but no one quite knew why. Perhaps it was the sun, the surf, or maybe the girls? No. No it definitely was not the girls. Maybe Max was just excited to be in a new land, he had always been beyond happy to learn a little about the history and culture of the countries they visited over the years.

As the hours had passed and the other Bladebreakers had finally stirred, Rei being the first, then Max, both entering the kitchen in their respective order. Tyson was the last to wake up, of course, but he was surprisingly easy this morning. While they were preparing for their trip (and breakfast) Kai sat alone outside on the wooden steps leading to the traditional garden on the dojo's property. In his hand he clutched his blade tightly in his lap, never looking at it. For once he was glad that no one had asked him to battle. With all of the reconstructions going on within the new organization, there had been barely any time to practice, and when his team had free time he decided to vanish.

It had only been a few months ago, but the young Hiwatari remembered everything so clearly he wondered why Max was the only one with nightmares. Losing Dranzer had been the most difficult and trying experience in Kai's entire life, and there were a lot of those.

Glancing at the now cold and soulless toy, he willed the familiar warmth of his feathered guardian to return. No such luck. He learned long ago that just hoping for something would not make it so. And so the captain closed his eyes and placed the Beyblade into the pocket of his black pants he'd put on only a few minutes before everyone else began to wake up.

"Kai?" he heard his name being called from behind with a worried tone. He turned to see his sleeping buddy, who smiled brightly at him. "It's time for breakfast. Rei made pancakes. Something light, you know?" he chuckled like only Max could and tilted his head. "You coming?"

Kai nodded. "Yes. I'll be in momentarily. You guys can start without me," he calmly said without any hitch in his voice, as if nothing was wrong. Max nodded and disappeared through the shoji door, leaving it open for Kai. He didn't move for a moment, feeling so much weight in his chest. Without Dranzer he felt helpless; heavy. The first two times were hard enough. He'd gotten the fiery phoenix back quickly, but it had been so long since he'd felt that passion whenever he just thought of his crimson partner.

Kai nodded, finally accepting it. Dranzer was gone. His only partner had died because of his foolishness. Because used him so ruthlessly in their battle against Brooklyn and Zeus. With a bitter smile Kai slowly stood. "That's it then. You're dead, aren't you?" he whispered with a heartbroken expression. There was no response. No familiar cry of his hot-blooded phoenix. Only silence.

"Alright then,: he whispered, head down. "I give up. Goodbye, Dran…" Kai paused, unable to finish. He knew it was time to surrender the idea of the phoenix's return, but he had not been prepared to say goodbye like he originally thought. The teen shook his head. It was the only way, and he knew it. "Goodbye, Dranzer," he muttered quietly while entering the house.

"I'm sorry…"

I just reread this and realized something… It's kinda dark, yeah? Sorry Kai fans, didn't mean to make him so depressed. And if he's too OOC I apologize for that too, but it's because he's going through a hard time and is going to be developing a lot.

Next chapter I introduce some new characters a new setting, and maybe a new language to some people.

Please give me an honest review. I appreciate criticism for it will only help a writer grow.

Mahalo for reading and Aloha.


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